My undefined Solar Plexus has been defined via transits. First with the full 35/36 channel. Then Gate 49 connected my Gate 19 and now Gate 30 connecting my Gate 41.
With my partner having a defined solar plexus I’ve come to understand emotional authority in deeper ways. One thing I know for sure is to take time to experience the entire emotional wave. The high highs and the low lows and share when I’m ready. Prematurely sharing, like when I’m emotionally low, frustrated, sad, etc, thwarts the natural process and rhythm. I’ve learned to trust that when he is ready to share, when he has more clarity, he will. This is how as a 1/3 I’ve broken and re-made our bonds in significant ways. In the past, bonds have been broken but not necessarily remade as I and my romantic partners, friends, business partners, etc did not understand the nature of the 1/3. I was frustrated, saddened, and confused. This is one example of how Human Design has brought clarity, understanding, and acceptance for me.
So when I realized my solar plexus was defined, I observed how I felt and to sit through the emotional wave. I was already triggered by some stuff earlier so it was very challenging. It was uncomfortable, overwhelming. I thought I felt my partner withdraw, emotionally, physically. And when we spoke about it, he said he didn’t and wasn’t.
What I had known and realized but didn’t really realize was that my gates in the solar plexus are themes of how I experience definition here. How the energy flows. I have three moody gates here. The 6 is intimacy or not and what I realized, when I was in the shower (thank god for showers!), is that it was me who was shutting the door on intimacy. I didn’t feel or receive the energy because my own door was closed.
With this clarity, we had another discussion and all this stuff came up. Including how I was judged for being moody, when it was just the energy moving through the gates. Basically he said, no one will judge you for needing to say, “humanity sucks. People suck.” Well I don’t believe that. I did say, some of my ex’s suck. Their behaviour was shitty and I was tired of being the understanding person, understanding the trauma that drove their shitty behaviour. No matter the reason, their behaviour was shitty. It’s okay, my little open heart centre – we don’t need to prove I’m a good person, I don’t need to be “nice” or understanding. They may be wounded and unaware; their behaviour is still shitty.
Sometimes a breakdown is really a breakthrough.