A huge lesson in my experiment is trust my intuition.
You’ve probably heard this said a whole bunch of times.
The thing is, as you decondition and see your not-self in action, you see these not-self themes in more subtle and pervasive ways. Yes, it can feel overwhelming, like is there no end, and what’s the point.
If you’re feeling this, you’re not alone. Many people come to this place, and not just the one time.
Many people share that a couple of years of being in their Experiment is when it seems to get more challenging. It’s because we are starting to see more, including how we’ve built up our identity and how we’ve contorted ourselves to fit into the world…
This is why nourishing our spirit and truly being anchored in self love are so important as we go deeper into the deconditioning process. And also, having a good sense of humour. I think especially for Line 3s. Because we are going to see more, more of the not-self world and it can be very lonely. There’s no shame in this. Many people don’t like to talk about the shadow work, the challenges of deconditioning…it doesn’t sell well to the mainstream, where Human Design has found a place.
So back to the huge lesson in intuition.
I’m an acoustic being. It’s my individual circuitry, it’s my line 3, it’s a few aspects of my Design.
I’m a 34-20 Sacral Manifesting Generator and I can move really fast. It’s important to check in, after dipping my toe, to see if the response is really there. My Spleen is defined with one Gate, 57, an acoustic Gate. And sometimes I move so fast I don’t take note of the first intuitive hit, so taking a pause is key.
Going too fast, what else?
I think the not-self themes of my open centres are obvious. Not-self themes of undefined centres are one of the first things we learn about. Of course, seeing them in action may take time, and also, quite frankly, honesty.
That open Heart Centre, right?
Mine is completely open and has no Gates pointing to it. So, no pressures on it. It takes specific transits and Ego-defined people to define it so the lessons and its actions are less obvious than say my two undefined centres which have many opportunities to be conditioned. So we can override our intuition because we don’t want to rock the boat, we want to prove we are the right person for the job, we are intelligent and make sense, etc.
What else? What about Line 1? Line 1 is inherently introspective, inward-looking, insular, and always looking for a foundation. And insecure.
It becomes secure by having a solid foundation and it does this through investigating and gathering information. The not-self theme of Line 1 is investigating everything, so it feels secure. It’s investing life force even in what’s not for them. Line 1s can hide behind information and knowledge to feel secure or feel secure because of their collection of intel.
And so, because of the attraction of new information, a Line 1 can get pulled in by people who come across as authorities, experts, and anyone who has leading edge information. Now, these people may have solid info, or they may not. And even if they do, if a person’s personal authority is a no, this person isn’t for them. If you struggle with this, check to see what your mind stories are and review the not-self themes of your aura type and undefined centres as well as bridging gates. What are you trying to get rid of? What is the reward for going ahead with spending money on these people your body’s like no?
This is what I’ve learned. I’ve struggled with certain people. They may be experts, many of them are even better marketers. But my response to them is a no. I’ve investigated it a bit further, and listened to them speak. It’s very clear there’s a lack of acoustic attunement. They sound off to me. Icky. Now, this isn’t about them as people. It’s about me trusting in my process, trusting that the information I require will show up and I don’t need to push against the river, so to speak.
If a person isn’t for me, their Outer Authority isn’t for me and I won’t be able to hear them. I won’t get what is for me.
So, pausing and checking in with myself affirms my sacral response.
Of course, it’s still an ongoing process, this deconditioning.